Disheveled mind

i am facing a writer's block...but htis cannot continue for long...this is what i am paid for so i cannot put things under carpet and get refuge under a cliche.

whay cant things just be as they turn out to be, i mean why cant we see the larger picture...okay first i think i have to put a full stop here and think of sentences htat begin with I so that my problems dont seem like a collective nightmare a section of society is going through.

isnt there a block in life where in i am not able to see things beyond a certain point,however much i try. there is a dead end and i have no other option but to retrace my steps...come back to square one and start all over again, frankly 23 is too old an age and i think i am lagging behind in so many things, not having any considerable achievement in my whole and entire life, why of course i know i am being pessimistic, there is a list of acheivements in the past...but there certainly is no glory in the present and the future looks bleak.

the only tangible reason i see here is that i am not in control o f my proffessional life, i dont know which direction i am taking it to, i dont know which direction i want to take it to. i cannot think linear, forget parallel thinking,multitasking...and much more of the jargon well that is just htat ,jargon.

i joined events because i wanted to experiment, see a new territory...i find it to have gone wrong terribly.and i am at loss. how i miss my advertising days, it used to be so much of fun. the people were great and all in all it was a great learning experience...of late...my god what a huge time lag of two years...i am in creative stagnation, one poem today and a short story yesterday doesnt provide me with much relief either...

i guess there is only one way out...read read and read or watch movies learn to do something different...utilise time otherwise i will continue to be in this state of mind that shrinks in its hollowness. i want to utilise my life dont want to die like this...i thik i am on a low information overdose...oxymoron again

what do i do?well well...hmmm mmm...mmmm...uuuhuuuunnnnnn

nothing is coming to my mind...i think i will start taking guitar lessons or painting...and will start a reading marathon

else i will go mad...