31 May, 2007

dot dot dot

i was talking to this junior of mine...a small chat took me back to those days of fun, when life had a purpose and i was moving towards it.

i remembered those college days when my friends used to admire me for my never say die attitude...those days just flew past my eyes. i wonder where that energy came from...upon serious thought i came across only one reason...i was happy in my present and i was sure of my future. i was sure i would build a future for myself. i was sure i could achieve what i wanted to.

two years down the line a lot has changed. i have come a long way, i have seen reationships break, i have let the hell break loose on me. but along with everything i notice one thing...the spontaneous energy, the iressistable charm, the light of my eyes is gone. they no longer spark with mischief, my mouth no longer turns upward by itself.

i am much more tensed today and i lost the fighting spirit that was my mark. looks like there is a long way to go...my optimism needs a recharge. i am no longer the person who used to laugh at the challenges of life, who used to mock destiny. take initiatives...

i have lost the passion to live...life has become mundane...

everyting is predictable...getting up coming to office...working...taking a bus going home...fighting with mom...trying to convince her...a lot is happening in cycles.

i think its high time i take charge of my life again and give it the direction i want to...shape my world...fill in shades of golden yellow sunshine...dangle a rainbow...and start a new quest...to find myself.

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