04 August, 2007

questions without answers

my father went to see a colleague of his...for whatsoever reasons i am not very sure. a very important reason might be that he wanted some fresh air...unable to breathe in the room we occupied...we...me and my mother.

this colleague had a daughter who was recently married...to a man of her choice...or as said in common language it was a love marriage. its been about seven months since she left with her companion for life. as hte normal courtesy is his wife would have come out with tea and snacks for both of them, but this did not happen this time.

it ws percieved that she did not come out because she was grieving...she was ashamed of her daughter...who defied the rules of society. cases like this are slowly becoming the norm in even our bhagalpuri samaj. it is these parents that go long faced, unable to meet and socialise that are in the majority causing an opinion that such an ac of defiance by a daughter is hte greatest sin a woman can commit.

i just have one question

we have heard a lot of stories about these people...right...but are there any stories about hte girl who obeyed...the ideal daughter who surrendered all for the society. where are these girls, there must be some, where are they hidden. has someone gone to ask their story.

lets take this situation on the other side...she obliges

will someone notice the sadness in her eyes while getting married...will someone hear her cries for mercy when she is slaughtered at this age old guillotine...no...the answer is a blatant NO.
what option does she have?hindu marriage is sacrosanct that too when arranged by the parents. so this marriage takes place for the society...all rejoice but the girl...who cares...and who will if the parents turn a blind eye...who will care

is this the fate of a girl who falls in love...most of them do...and god forbid if she has truly fallen in love. will she be able to laugh again...yes she will...will the laughter reach her eyes...never.

never will she live again as hte girl that was...never will hte laughter give hope...she will perform her duties as a slave does...she is a bonded labour, she will laugh at the right time, be the good wife ,daughter, mother but the girl in her...she will be dead but who cares.

will someone hear her story...no they wont take the effort...so next time my father goes to a girl who has obeyed her parents what will he see? he will se a girl who is happy in her husband's house...content with the person her parents chose for her and sure that she would not have found a better person...

as years pass...hte girl will stop grieving for the girl that was dead and slowly forget her existance...she will think whatever happend happened for good.

what does this give?

pain...in both parties...which is greater...who will decide?

what will happen if she doesnt...how long will my father's colleagues bereave the incident...5 years at the max...they will start coming out...meet people...laugh...what died...a dream.

and if she does...how long will she berieve 5 years max...she will accept her fate...stop crying...will beh appy being a mother a wife, shadow of her husband...what died...her soul...isnt her soul more precious?

who will decide

i am at the crossroads of life...every moment is hell for me...i am unable to breathe...24 years old and lost myself...lost hope...how will i live?

give me the right to decide...i am fighting for my life...its my birthright


  1. हिन्दी में टिप्पणी की माफी चाहूंगा - शायद यह आपको हिन्दी में पुनः लिखने के लिये प्रेरित करे।
    बहुत पहले, मिसेस पारकिंसन लॉ, नाम की किताब पढ़ी थी। यह बताती है कि अमेरिकन लड़की अपने जीवन में तीन लड़कों से मिलती है और शायद केवल एक से ही ठीक प्रकार से - बाकियों से ऊपरी तौर पर। उसमें से एक के बारे में सोचती है कि वह उसके जीवन का राजकुमार है यदि इससे शादी नहीं की तो उसका जीवन असफल है।
    यदि यह वहां के लिये है तो सोचिये कि हिन्दुस्तानी लड़की कितने लड़कों से मिलती है।
    प्रेम महत्वपूर्ण है पर इसमें धोका भी बहुत है लड़के, लड़कियों पर प्रभाव जमाने के लिये बहुत सारे खेल खेलते हैं। यदि आप किसी इस तरह के निर्णय के बीच में हैं तो कदम सोच समझ कर ही उठाइयेगा। विश्वास मानिये अपने जीवन के तीन चौथाई बसंत देख लेने के बाद मेरा अनुभव तो यही है कि लोग परिवार के आगे झुक जाते हैं वह भी जीवन में सुखी रहते हैं।
    Best of luck for your decision. Please don't forget us for the big occassion :-)

  2. unmukt ji...hindi miem likhne ke liye maafi mangna bemani lagta hai, mane kabhi kisi bhasha ke sath favoritism nahin kiya...mian do bhashaon me sochti hun isliye likhti bhi hun jab jismein khyal aa rahe hote hain.

    aapki baat se sahmat hun...par mere ek saval hai...ki wo maata pita jo baccho ki jid ke samne jhuk jaate hain kya wo aajeevan dukhi rahte hain?is baat ka faisla kaun krega ki kise jhukna chahiye...baccho ko ya abhivavakon ko?apne jeevan ke ek chauthai vasant mein maine yahi dekha hai ki arranged marriages mostly compromise hote hain. bahut ladkiyan adjust kar jaati hai par main jaisi hun mere liye mushkil hoga...isliye jaddojahad hai...koshish hai...aur aasha hai :)

  3. क्या निर्णय रहा।


Related posts

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...